We all know the deeply embedded myth of “mateship” in Australian culture. When we were kids we had to learn about the ANZACS and the spirit of mateship. You know, not shooting your fellow soldier in the head. There were no cases of “friendly fire” (don’t you love the euphemism) back in the day of Simpson and his donkey. No sir, m’am.
At the same time we were learning about Australians at war, the girls in my class were engaged in another type of war. In the war waged by pre-pubescents, weapons were phrases like: “I don’t like you anymore”, “You can’t sit with us” and the cannon was the silent treatment. Notes were passed where you had to tick who you liked the best. Things got so bad that our teacher had to sit us down and teach us to be civil to each other.
Things got worse as we hit puberty but it was accepted that little girls were little bitches.
When I had a kid, he turned out to be a boy and one of the first things more experienced mothers often said to me was, “at least he’ll be easier to manage when he’s older. Boys are simpler.” What is it about our culture, hormones, biological drives that have created these moulds for boys and girls?
When I compare Alex’s, my partner, friendships to mine, mine do seem a lot more complex. He has never felt insecure in his friendship and wondered whether someone has culled him after not hearing from them for a long time. He’s never felt the need to second guess what his friends have said, he takes them at face value. He is also able to have close friendships with people who don’t even share the same values and beliefs. He’s never lost a friend because they’ve both liked the same person. Is it because I’m slightly neurotic and sensitive, and he’s not? Or is it because I’m a girl and have been socialized to behave a certain way? Or is it because my previously unfertilized eggs were screaming out for the perfect sperm, and I had to sideline the competition? Or is it true what experienced mother’s say? Boys are simpler creatures?
Whatever the case, I’ve decided to this year not get involved in the politics of my personal life and focus on the politics that influence my personal life.
Oz Poli Chix 